A break
Happy New Year. I’m taking some time off. Still thinking, Recalculating. Thank you for being here. See you in 2026! Here are some posts you may have missed.
It’s been more than three years since I started Recalculating. Over 1,300 readers have joined along the way, mostly through word of mouth. It makes me genuinely happy that our community keeps growing. What excites me even more is when you write to share an idea, a critique, or a personal story.
In 2025, my family and I moved from the outskirts of Athens, right by the sea, to the outskirts of Boston, to the university town of Cambridge. Our kids changed neighborhoods, friends, and preschools. The oldest started elementary school — and judo. The youngest is finally out of diapers. I loved studying psychology at Harvard with Professor Daniel Gilbert thanks to a fellowship that Irene, my partner, received. She was finally able to take a break herself and reflect on the next steps in her career.
This newsletter is the last one of 2025, published on the very last day of the year. For the first time, I’m going to take a break and won’t publish for a couple of weeks. I’ll be off for January and will return to Recalculating in February.
Below, I’m sharing a handful of posts you might have missed — a completely subjective selection I put together for you to read and share. And here’s the archive of everything I’ve published so far:
While I’m away, you can also tell me what you enjoy most about Recalculating and, especially, what you’d like me to do next year. Anything that helps me improve is more than welcome.
Thank you for making it this far. I wish you a happy new year, and I’ll see you in February.
With love,
Nacho
P.S.: You can always reply to this email. I read and respond to everything (yes, I know I still owe a few replies — I’ll get to them).
The official beginning of Recalculating, explaining what this is all about:
This is where Recalculating begins
I also tried to make sense of painful situations. What did it mean for me to hear loved ones say that I was "incredibly deceitful and didn’t want to work"? I admitted that I myself had said something like that years before, with that damned habit of judging instead of empathizing: "She doesn't work, they support her, and she complains on top of that?”
Two that are still relevant three years later:
What is the invisible work that we men have trouble seeing?
In his attempt to start addressing the mental load imbalance, Ziesel set out to do something very basic that he had never attempted in eight years as the father of three children: throw a birthday party. But as soon as he started, he realized he didn’t even know the names of his daughter’s classmates. "I hoped the rest of the planning process wouldn’t be so frustrating. But it was," he confesses.
Are we men ready for fatherhood to change who we are?
There is a moment on Saturday or Sunday, after having spent ten hours with my kids, that I get a little exasperated, I lose my patience. I find it hard to identify the emotion, I definitely feel some guilt too. I know that time alone with them improves our relationship... but I get bored! Yes, I feel bored. I want some time in the car for them to talk t…
One that I really enjoyed writing:
Writing about children
Being parents is beautiful but difficult and challenging. Watching a child grow up is incredible but requires humility and stepping out of the spotlight for an indefinite period. Postponing one’s own desires and interests can equal resignation or turn into a lesson learned — or both. "Fundamentally being a father or mother reconciles us with mystery. When we take on the role of someone who must explain the world, you realize you’re more an emissary of mystery’s persistence than an explainer.”
People liked this ones:
